Ever heard of it? You might have had it at one point or another - symptoms include inability to sleep because you can't stop thinking about things (hence the reason I am writing this at 5:00 AM!), what seems like hundreds of things to do, a feeling that you can't possibly get it all done, etc... The official name is "Exploding Head Syndrome" and I know I must have it right now!
We chose our home study provider this week, and their "packet" arrived in the mail on Wednesday. Of course I opened it - what was I thinking? I should have waited until the weekend to do that - when I would have more time. But I don't want to wait. I want to get everything done ASAP. I have been waiting all my life for a baby! If I wait, it just takes longer.
I started going through the stuff - OMG! Why do they need to know that?! I know that every person who has ever adopted or fosterd a child has had to answer all of these same questions - but sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. We just want to love and care for a sweet child. We didn't have to do this when we were pregnant with our own - why now? But Chris, the logical, rational one in the family put it into perspective for me. I know we don't think the same way, and that's a good thing. (I think the EHS is blocking any logical thinking in my head right now.) That's why we are good together - balance.
So, let's get on with it! Make a list - that's logical right? Start checking things off the list - another logical step. EHS - you won't keep me down! I'm sure that I will have recurring bouts of EHS at times. (I can already imagine what the week before the Social Worker comes to the house will look like.) But I can deal with this. I have just one more day of work to get through and then I can start to concentrate on making the list.
If you'd like to delve into some of this information with us, I would recommend a website for adoption books called Tapestry Books. (www.tapestrybook.com) They have all sorts of books on all topics surrounding adoption. Of course you don't have to purchase them - just head to the library or get on Book Mooch - an online "library" located at www.bookmooch.com - thanks Sue Stuever Battel for introducing me!
All I can say is TGIF! And we have no major plans for the weekend - well, except all the paperwork. :-) But we will get through it - one piece at a time. Happy Friday everyone!
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2 comments:
Reading this on Monday and hoping your head did not officially explode over the weekend! Please remember, you are not alone; be it a shoulder to cry on, ears to vent to, or house cleaning assistance to prepare for a home visit...I'm only a phone call away. And, until then, I'm praying that this part of the journey be filled with ease and acceptance for you both. ♥
awww... thanks Mary!
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